Be nice to your spouse.

Okay, so, in MY opinion, this should go without saying.....but it seems to me a lot of people have trouble with this concept.
I get up at 2:30 (almost) every weekday morning with my husband so that I can pray with him and make him some breakfast while he gets ready to leave for work at 3:30. I've had a lot of other women tell me they could never do this, or even that I'm crazy. I think THEY'RE crazy!!!! They're missing such a wonderful opportunity to really make their husbands happy. I can tell by Loren's smile when he sits down to toast and eggs cooked the way he likes, or a bowl of hot oatmeal with milk and sliced bananas, that it really makes his day to start it off right.
I admit, my husband spoils me rotten, and he totally deserves a hot breakfast before work. But even if he DIDN'T I still would. I would because he's my husband. I believe that when I married him, I claimed the responsibility to take care of him. He also claimed the same with me, but I leave that up to his judgement. Besides, if I wanted him to treat me better, (I don't really, he pampers me far too much for my own good.....) it would be much easier to ask him for more support if he felt taken care of.
I challenge you to look at how you're treating the person you chose to marry. Do you look for ways to put a smile on their face? Or are you so busy complaining about what THEY don't do for YOU that you can't see how much you've neglected them?
Let me give you a few tips to get started:

1 I like to put myself in my husband's shoes. I try to think the way he does, and figure out what will make him feel really special. If I notice it's really cold outside, I think, "Hey wow, I bet Loren would really love a cup of hot cocoa when he walks in the door!" Or if he tells me he has a meeting with his study group and he doesn't know what time he'll be home, yeah, I have a moment of "ACK!!!!! How am I supposed to have dinner ready for him if I don't know when it needs to be done???" but then I try to think from his perspective. He'll probably be getting home way past his bedtime, he'll be tired, it'll have been ages since he had lunch so he'll be starving, and he'll have just had a long walk on top of everything. Oh, and he'll probably have a headache because he's tired and hungry. Seriously, is it too much to ask myself to make a pot of soup that can simmer on the stove for a while so that he can have a hot meal as soon as he gets home????????????

2 Love isn't a tally system. Don't do it to get something in return. No one likes to feel like the only reason the person they married would be kind to them is to get what they want. Do it because this is the person you want to be with forever. Do it because your love is worth it. Do it just to see a smile. If this is hard for you, try this little mind game. Pretend he's perfect. Imagine your husband is the perfect husband, he treats you like a queen. How are you going to treat him? That's the way you should be treating him now!!!! (It doesn't hurt to use this all the time. I'm sure my husband has some faults SOMEwhere, but I'm so busy focusing on all the wonderful things about him I don't even notice!)

3 Some ideas to get you started (I'm a stay at home wife, so this list is kind of geared towards that particular situation, but hopefully it will get your creative juices flowing):
Greet him with a hug and kiss when he gets home.
Write a little note listing some of the things you really appreciate about
him and leave it where he'll find it.
Make him a nice dinner with foods HE likes.
Wake up with him in the morning and help him get ready.
Iron his shirt for him.
Pack him a GOOD lunch. (saves you money too!!)
When you pack his lunch, keep the things that might make his sandwich
soggy seperate so that he can put them on later and have nice bread.
Do something he likes to do with him.
Take interest in what he does.
Write something nice in the steam on the bathroom mirror while he's in
the shower.
Tape his favorite candy to the steering wheel for him to find in the morning.
Give him a backrub.
Tell him thank you when he does something for you. It's okay to say thank you hours later if you forget in the moment. Loren often says thank you for dinner in the middle of the night.
Fall asleep WITH him. Even if he has to go to bed at three in the afternoon. You don't necessarily have to STAY with him, but it's a lot nicer falling asleep snuggled up with your love.

4 Remember that just because YOU would like something, doesn't mean THEY will. You need to figure out what will make your loved one feel loved. You can go about this in different ways. You can ask them straight out. (that doesn't work on my husband...he just shrugs and says, "I dunno!") You can play scientist and try different things on them until you find the things that work consistently. You can get them to do a five love languages quiz. Whatever works for the two of you.

I love this scripture, I think it's one of the best descriptions of what marriage should be. I've quoted it directly, but it totally applies to how wives should treat their husbands too. "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church" Ephesians 5:28-29. Your spouse is an extension of yourself. When you treat him poorly your not just neglecting him, you're neglecting yourself.

I would love it if you would comment with things you do for your spouse, or that they do for you, that really make you feel special. Or if you're trying to do better at doing these things, share your success stories! (or not so successful stories!)